Home > Gaming, Reviews, Wii > “Destroy All Humans: Big Willy Unleashed” Wii Review

“Destroy All Humans: Big Willy Unleashed” Wii Review

After weeks of preparation, I finally present to you Frayed Wire’s largest review ever. On several occasions the three people given a copy of the game Destroy All Humans: Big WIlly Unleashed met up in an AIM chat room and discussed various aspects of the game. With spelling/grammar fixes as well as the omissions of off-topic stuff, it has been edited to a presentable form for our readers. And now, all I can say is…. get reading!

– Graphics –

Josh60502: Graphics – What do you think?

JustMattPwn3r: The graphics are 100% balls.

Josh60502: I say the original PS2 Destroy All Humans was better than this; that’s pretty embarrassing.

JustMattPwn3r: I agree. The textures are very bland.

BurningBaboon: I think the graphics could really have been better. They look like a really old PS2 game. Third party developers should at least try to make their games look somewhat decent.

JustMattPwn3r: Amen to BurnB.

Josh60502: The graphics are kind of like the rest of the game – rushed.

JustMattPwn3r: Yes, it just feels rushed.

Josh60502: The game starts off good with mission structure and humor but as it progresses it starts to feel blander and blander.

BurningBaboon: The graphics could have been better. Nothing stands out at all.

JustMattPwn3r: I‘m watching a video of the first one right now, krypto looks better in the first one.

– Story/Writing –

Josh60502: Next Topic: Story/Writing

Josh60502: I thought the “Disco Inferno” song was placed well, but nothing like that ever happens again in the game.

JustMattPwn3r: Yeah, it had some funny stuff at the beginning, but then all the jokes turn into shameful “big willy” jokes.

BurningBaboon: I didn’t really get far at all.

Josh60502: Why not? Didn’t like it?

BurningBaboon: I played it once for about an hour, but it is one of those games you really don’t feel like taking the hassle of even starting up the game. I’d really rather just browse videos on YouTube or even just play some Team Fortress 2.

Josh60502: You talk like TF2 is bad.

JustMattPwn3r: Let’s not go too far off topic.

BurningBaboon: Well, I’d rather do many other things that are much more enjoyable then play Destroy all Humans.

JustMattPwn3r: It had some good ideas that weren’t fully developed.

Josh60502: Ouch. Are there any things about the game that you did like?

BurningBaboon: Some of the jokes were funny.

Josh60502: The big willy ones?

BurningBaboon: I liked some of the other ones, not just the penis and anus ones. Like how Krypto was really cocky about destroying the humans.

JustMattPwn3r: Yeah.

JustMattPwn3r: It’s actually spelled Crypto I just found out.

BurningBaboon: The story had a good atmosphere. I’d rather just watch the cutscenes then play the game.

Josh60502: It’s almost like some sort of cartoon or sitcom.

JustMattPwn3r: Yeah.

Josh60502: I did find myself watching the whole cutscenes. Most games I want to skip them. But even after seeing dozens in this game, I wanted to watch them… so that’s good.

JustMattPwn3r: Not me.

BurningBaboon: Should be a show or movie, not a game.

JustMattPwn3r: Yeah. But it would be too hard to get produced.

Josh60502: Why? Tak got on Nickelodeon.

BurningBaboon: That was shit.

JustMattPwn3r: It wasn’t the worst platformer.

BurningBaboon: But a terrible show.

Josh60502: I don’t think a DAH show would be too bad actually.

JustMattPwn3r: DAH?

Josh60502: Destroy All Humans

Josh60502: Noob.

JustMattPwn3r: Oh.

Josh60502: Well with the Story/Writing… did it follow the 70’s theme well?

JustMattPwn3r: In the beginning, yes. Closer to the end, no.

Josh60502: I thought so at first but then when the game started to feel rushed, the developers kind of forgot about it.

Josh60502: Except for maybe the Vietnam level at the end.

BurningBaboon: It did a good job of following the theme. The civilians seemed like 70’s people.

JustMattPwn3r: Sort of…

Josh60502: Hypnotizing people always made them dance; I would have liked to see something else happen.

JustMattPwn3r: I would’ve liked more disco or something else stereotypically 70’s.

Josh60502: Too much disco can be bad.

JustMattPwn3r: Yeah, but so can not enough.

BurningBaboon: I think they didn’t need to worry about the 70’s part too much; just let you know it was there.

BurningBaboon: brb dudes.

JustMattPwn3r: It still would’ve been better with more 70’s influence.

Josh60502: I don’t always associate fast food with the 70’s, but the Colonel Klucken stuff was fine – it didn’t really feel out of place.

JustMattPwn3r: In the first one there was a much more 50’s influence.

Josh60502: The series usually tackles different decades for each game.

JustMattPwn3r: I know, and it did the past two good – just not this one.

Josh60502: You haven’t really played those first two though… do you really know for sure?

JustMattPwn3r: I’ve seen reviews. I know what I need to.

Josh60502: The first two games were made by the original developers. Big Willy was developed by another company.

JustMattPwn3r: There’s a new developer?

Josh60502: That’s what made it so different.

JustMattPwn3r: Well that’s why this one sucked.

Josh60502: I don’t think it completely sucked. It wasn’t necessarily a painful game… not for me at least.

BurningBaboon: Back dudes.

JustMattPwn3r: Finally. What were you doing?

BurningBaboon: Beating off.

JustMattPwn3r: Not surprised.

Josh60502: So BurnB, what do you think of the Colonel Klucken storyline?

Josh60502: Good, bad, or typical?

BurningBaboon: I didn’t get that far…

JustMattPwn3r: Did you even play the game?

Josh60502: Big Willy’s rival restaurant?

JustMattPwn3r: It was less than 3 hours in!

BurningBaboon: I got to the part where you had to become the cop and get all the hippie protesters out of the way.

Josh60502: Well then…

JustMattPwn3r: Play for a little more and you’ll get there.

Josh60502: Anyway, Matt and I found it typical.

Josh60502: Right, Matt?

JustMattPwn3r: Yes. It’s semi-original with the names, but the overall set-up has been done before many times.

– Controls –

Josh60502: Now on to controls; what do you think?

JustMattPwn3r: They’re responsive for pointing and that’s good.

Josh60502: I thought the vehicle movement worked.

BurningBaboon: They actually worked kinda well. The aiming was pretty good, not as good as let’s say Twilight Princess but pretty good. Controlling the UFO was a little awkward at first.

JustMattPwn3r: It took a little getting used to.

Josh60502: You twist the remote to rotate your UFO and Big Willy mech. It worked.

BurningBaboon: I still think for moving vehicles I’d rather use buttons than the Wii remote, however.

Josh60502: How would that really work on the Wii, though? It only has one analog stick.

BurningBaboon: Maybe more games should offer Classic Controller options. Problem solved.

JustMattPwn3r: Yeah that would’ve worked a little better.

Josh60502: Yeah, but the only ones that do seem to be first-party Nintendo games.

BurningBaboon: I think we’ve hit this point, but third party developers have to get serious.

Josh60502: Yes – NO MORE CASUAL GAMES, but then again, Big Willy isn’t really what I’d call casual.

BurningBaboon: Maybe a few, but not as many.

BurningBaboon: NO MORE HALF-ASSED GAMES.

BurningBaboon: I mean, Wii Sports was a casual game and it was fun.

Josh60502: Yeah, but that was Nintendo made.

JustMattPwn3r: I know this wasn’t casual, but it wasn’t hardcore.

Josh60502: Was it a “bridge title”, like Mario Kart Wii? Something that appeals to both casual and hardcore audiences?

JustMattPwn3r: It tried, but it was just too complex for n00bs.

BurningBaboon: No, it was a half-assed game by THQ just so they’d have something on the Wii.

Josh60502: What’s a good casual game on the Wii made by a third-party developer?

JustMattPwn3r: I heard Carnival Games wasn’t bad.

Josh60502: Okay, so I guess there’s that.

BurningBaboon: Raving Rabbids 1 is good.

JustMattPwn3r: I think that’s slightly Nintendo.

Josh60502: No, Ubisoft.

JustMattPwn3r: Oh.

– Length/Replay Value –

Josh60502: Okay.. on to Length/Replay Value.

BurningBaboon: Bad replay value. I mean, I only played it once and didn’t play it again.

Josh60502: Ouch. But BurnB, do you think maybe you didn’t give it a fair chance?

BurningBaboon: I probably should have given it more of a chance, but I didn’t feel at all motivated to even try.

JustMattPwn3r: It was too short and too little replay value.

Josh60502: Too short? You didn’t even beat it!

JustMattPwn3r: I was almost done in less than a week of 2-3 hour sessions.

Josh60502: But there’s the side missions and unlockables.

JustMattPwn3r: They take 5 min, and the unlockables are retarded.

Josh60502: They’re better than nothing.

JustMattPwn3r: They’re basically stuff that should be in some sort of DLC.

Josh60502: Really?

JustMattPwn3r: Oh, right it’s for the Wii.

BurningBaboon: I like DLC…

Josh60502: I don’t want to pay for a couple of costumes and UFO skins. It’d be awful DLC.

JustMattPwn3r: Not to pay for, just as a choice.

BurningBaboon: If you could just get the unlockables for free, there’d be no point. Less replay value.

Josh60502: Overall, I found it to be average length-wise. Average for the Wii, at least. A good 15 hours?

JustMattPwn3r: I guess… 10-15 depending on your skill; less if you’re hardcore.

Josh60502: Either way, it’s a lot longer than most Wii games.

BurningBaboon: That’s longer than God of War, and yet that game’s fucking awesome.

– Weapons –

Josh60502: So how about weapons?

BurningBaboon: Mkay.

Josh60502: Original.

JustMattPwn3r: There were some cool ones.

BurningBaboon: I don’t really have a say, since I only got about 3 of them.

Josh60502: They didn’t always feel balanced.

JustMattPwn3r: Yeah they weren’t too balanced.

Josh60502: Like the Disintegrator was a crap load more powerful than something like the Zap O Matic.

BurningBaboon: I know, right?

Josh60502: On the UFO there was this one giant green thing called the Quantum Deconstructor that was ridiculously powerful, but then the other stuff took like the laser or Sonic Boom very long to kill people/buildings with.

JustMattPwn3r: They tried to balance them a little bit – the Zap O Matic can hit like 8 people at once.

Josh60502: But it was hard getting it to hit multiple targets like that.

JustMattPwn3r: Big Willy didn’t have enough weapons.

Josh60502: Yeah, for Big Willy I usually just picked up cars off the street and chucked them at things

JustMattPwn3r: I did that too, but it was too ineffective.

Josh60502: The burp and fart attacks earned a couple chuckles, but they took too long to be useful.

JustMattPwn3r: They also should have made the loss of power penalty a little more strict.

Josh60502: I thought that was done just right.

JustMattPwn3r: Well, I guess it was all right now that i think about it.

– Characters –

Josh60502: Okay.. characters.

JustMattPwn3r: Too few.

BurningBaboon: Some of the characters didn’t last long enough, it was like they were introduced then gone too quickly.

Josh60502: It made them rather forgettable.

JustMattPwn3r: Yeah.

Josh60502: Still, Krypto and Pox where fine, and they’re the most important.

– Mission Structure/Gameplay –

Josh60502: What did you think of the mission structure?

JustMattPwn3r: The missions weren’t varied enough.

BurningBaboon: Repetitive.

JustMattPwn3r: And you barely played the game…

BurningBaboon: Shut up.

JustMattPwn3r: They had the resources to make better missions, but they didn’t. They should’ve made more than protect missions, follow missions and fetch quests.

Josh60502: Again, I felt that the missions were rushed. At the beginning, there was enough variation for me (I especially liked the assassination stuff) but near the end there were a lot of redundant tasks, like taking out a group of the same enemy, or fetching items. You know something’s wrong when the main character himself says, “Ah, fetch quests? I hate these.”

JustMattPwn3r: Yes, the disco inferno mission, that was cool.

Josh60502: The song was well-placed.

JustMattPwn3r: Yeah.

Josh60502: The product of time, thought, and effort. Near the end we just didn’t see enough of that.

– Locations –

Josh60502: Okay… Locations. BurnB only saw one…

JustMattPwn3r: Not enough.

BurningBaboon: The city was a cool environment. They did a nice job of this, and should have expanded it a little by making the player feel more involved

JustMattPwn3r: In the first game there were 5, but in this there were only 4.

Josh60502: I thought they were large enough, and varied enough. Not a bad job.

BurningBaboon: It seemed bland, but there were some cool places to visit.

JustMattPwn3r: The cruse ship/island one could’ve been in any game, it had no 70’s in it.

Josh60502: The cruse ship/island was kind of a questionable decision since Krypto instantly dies when he hits water…

JustMattPwn3r: Yes.

Josh60502: The Vietnam-themed battle zone fit the 70’s theme.

JustMattPwn3r: Yeah.

– Multiplayer –

Josh60502: Anyone do multiplayer besides me?

BurningBaboon: Nope.

JustMattPwn3r: I didn’t. Does it suck?

Josh60502: Stop me if you’ve heard this before: It felt rushed.

JustMattPwn3r: Stop.

Josh60502: There were only 4 available missions.

JustMattPwn3r: Dumb.

Josh60502: 2 co-op, 2 competitive.

JustMattPwn3r: Weren’t you both Krypto in the multiplayer?

Josh60502: Yeah.

JustMattPwn3r: Dumb.

Josh60502: The co-op had you either defending a Big Willy restaurant from an onslaught of army men or working with your buddy to destroy one of Colonel Kluckin’s places. Competitive was all about flying through a medium-sized environment hitting poles so that they’d turn your color. The person with the most poles their color at the end would win. All 4 missions took place in the city, the 1st location of the single player. It’s like the developers didn’t even have time to try and get more places in.

JustMattPwn3r: Head to head shooting would’ve been better.

Josh60502: Well, you sort of can in the competitive. If you kill the person they just come back quickly though.

BurningBaboon: So multiplayer isn’t really even worth the time?

Josh60502: Sadly, no.

JustMattPwn3r: Just keep it out.

Josh60502: Well I salute them for trying.

JustMattPwn3r: I don’t.

Josh60502: A bad multiplayer is better than none at all, right?

JustMattPwn3r: No.

Josh60502: Of course, that is kind of a debate among gamers. Take the Metroid games, for example. People complained that Corruption didn’t have multiplayer.

BurningBaboon: I wish it did.

Josh60502: But others said it didn’t need it to earn a perfect score.

JustMattPwn3r: Same with Bioshock, but they were both awesome.

BurningBaboon: It didn’t need it but it would have been a sexually attractive addition.

– Pros/Cons –

Josh60502: Okay, nearing the end of the review…. let’s come up with pros/cons.

Josh60502: Pros?

JustMattPwn3r: Some cool weapons. Story was fine.

Josh60502: It’s funny. One of the funnier games on the Wii.

BurningBaboon: Pros – funny dialogue, interesting story, pretty good Wii controls. Cons- Repetitive, half-assed, bad replay value.

Josh60502: I say the game is a promising start to a franchise that will work well on the Wii if more time and effort is put into its development.

– Final Scores –

JustMattPwn3r: 7 out of 10

Josh60502: 6.5 out of 10

BurningBaboon: 6 out of 10

Frayed Wire’s Final Score: 6.5 out of 10

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  1. June 20, 2008 at 2:30 pm

    I have some news about that TV show… quoted from wikipedia:

    On October 26, 2005, THQ announced that Fox Broadcasting has purchased the rights to the game and is planning a computer-animated comedy, based on the game, to air in primetime. Jim Dauterive, previously of King of the Hill, will be a writer and executive producer of the TV version of Destroy All Humans! As of April 2008 nothing has been unveiled.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Destroy_All_Humans!#TV_show

  2. Sweety
    June 20, 2008 at 7:14 pm

    you should get your friends to play games before reviewing them, seems unfair that this baboon dude will influence the rating of the game even though he played for like an hour. of course if it were me i wouldnt use a scoring system at all, but i digress!

    anyway i didnt like this game much either. repetitive like you said

  1. June 20, 2008 at 1:19 pm

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