Home > Apps, Gaming, iPhone, Reviews > “Be Free or Die (Zombies 3D FPS)” iPhone Review

“Be Free or Die (Zombies 3D FPS)” iPhone Review

Be free from this game, or die of boredom playing it

Sometimes something just sounds too good to be true. Take Be Free or Die for example. Right of the bat, the phrase “Zombies 3D FPS” that sits next to the app’s title gets any hardcore gamer interested. “Is it true?” they wonder, looking at the 99 cent price. “There’s actually a 3D FPS on the iPhone for a dollar?” Then they’ll look at the info page and see these descriptions of the game… descriptions that I will now discredit one by one:

Bosses at the end of every level

This much is true, but they act just the same as all the other zombies, and there are only two of these bosses over five levels – one repeated for the first four, and one for the last level.

Impressive 3D graphics

If you are impressed by these graphics, it’s about time you moved to the year 2010, or at least 1994. Seriously, these graphics would have been considered terrible as a Playstation 1 launch game. And somehow they still manage to stutter!

Five different levels each with their own objective to complete

If “their own objective” means “they are all the same”, then yes, this is right. You must kill an unspecified number of zombies (a counter keeps track of how many you have killed, but I would much rather see how many I have left) and then the boss (for most of the levels, a most unintimidating devil) appears somewhere on the map. Finding him is as much of a chore as finding all the other zombies that you have to kill to get to him. The draw distance is so laughably bad that you won’t be able to see the zombies until they are about 5 feet away from you – many times after they appear out of thin air. This is far from alarming however, as they all too frequently get stuck on some invisible object, preventing them from killing you. So, you would assume you can go up to them and take a cheap shot at them, but sometimes the zombie is further glitched into a state of invincibility. Once you realize this, you just have to spin around a few times (no easy task thanks to the sluggish controls) and you’ll likely see him magically disappear, as well as find a couple other zombies magically appear in a spot that was empty half a second before.

Multiple weapon types

When I hear “multiple weapon types”, I think of a good variety of pistols, shotguns, machine guns, launchers, and maybe a melee weapon or two. The last thing I expect is literally five re-skinned versions of the same gun. Which of the automatic guns you pick from doesn’t matter, because they all function on an equally clunky level. I can’t stress enough how the weapons are actually the same thing apart from sound and cosmetic differences. Oh sorry, except for the hidden gun that you get for rating the game on iTunes. Probably the only good idea in the Be Free or Die, you can unlock an RPG if you give the game a review on the App Store so that this pile of crap can get the illusion that it’s actually respectable. However, the zombies won’t die from a head-on shot from this supposed “most powerful weapon in the game”. Read that again: The regular zombies can survive a direct hit from an RPG. Do I need to say more?

Different music tracks (or no music to listen to your own music)

I have been correcting the capitalization errors that have appeared so far in this app’s official descriptions, but not the egregious sentence structure. That aside, I honestly don’t remember ANY music whatsoever from this game, and I spent way more time playing this than it deserved. I can imagine why you would want to listen to your own music in the background, actually. The gameplay is so boring that you need something else going on to avoid falling asleep. As I mentioned before, the zombies don’t appear until you are right next to them, so you spend most of your time in a level traversing the horrid environments looking for one to shoot. Not cool.

Recently updated controls. Check options and choose which suit you.

Once again for the capitalization errors (corrected here), but the first time for the periods. Why? Is it too much to ask for a little consistency? You either put periods in or not! Back on subject, the alternate control methods are barely any different, and none work very smoothly. That’s part of the iPhone’s problem, but also part of the game’s problem for having the wholly unnecessary ability to look up and down. The zombies always appear straight across from you, so the y-axis only serves to disorient and frustrate you. Good luck getting it centered again once you’ve touched it just one time.

Sensitivity adjustment for controls

No matter what you pick, it’s not going to be a smooth experience.

Four different control schemes to fit every gamer!

Enough with the controls already! They’re bad! Stop acting like the more you promote them, the better they’ll be!

An experience unparalleled on the App Store!

Have you ever heard of something called Call of Duty: World at War: Zombies? It’s pretty much the concept you were going for, but it exceeds this trash in every way imaginable, price considered.

If you insist on buying a zombie-related FPS for your iPhone, THIS IS NOT THE WAY TO GO. The developers obviously didn’t know what they were doing, but it’s evident that they didn’t even try! Want proof? There is a money system in the game that serves no purpose. I’m not making that up – I think they seriously forgot they put it into the game. If the developers won’t even spend the time to finish their game, there is no reason you should. Don’t let curiosity fool you like it did me into wasting a buck on this – it’s really that bad.

Pros: LOL

Cons: Just copy and paste the entire review into this category

Final Score: 1.0 out of 10

By Josh60502

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Categories: Apps, Gaming, iPhone, Reviews Tags:
  1. matthew dudzinski
    November 18, 2011 at 9:00 am

    i totally agree with this review this game sucks! i wasted a dollar and i could of bought a candy bar instead . thats worth it! the zombies are 3D BUT THERE AWFUL! SOME OF THEM HAVE A MISSING ARM AND ITS LIKE NOTHING THERE! NO LIMBS NOTHING .ITS BAD!! dont buy this game. what especially makes me mad is the controls there ok but to look side to side is a killer when a zombie is hitting me from behind by the time it takes me to turn around i die. oh and that reminds me the health is bad . u die right away and when theres a zombie there and urun by him fast and dont even touch him and he dosent swing u still get hit and it takes like half your health! one more thing…finding bosses impossible! overall i give this game a 2.2 its bad dont buy it!

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